I Had a Dream

...and my therapist (mentioned previously for introducing us all to the concept of "Little Donna") would eat this up. So to speak.

My dream, as described to my computer screen:

Everyone was around a dining room table eating. I had gotten done eating and kept wondering why everyone else was going back for more. And everyone seemed “out of it.” Moving almost zombie-like around the room.

I wandered around the room for awhile (looking for coffee, actually, but that's a subject for another time). Then I returned to the table where, sitting across from me was a heavier and younger version of myself.

"Why don’t you eat more?" she asked, calmly, chewing something white. "Eat like we are."

I said, "No, thank you, I don’t feel like it."

She was going to leave it alone (I could tell she was feeling slightly embarrassed), and I said, "No, this is good, ask me again." So she did, more forcefully, but politely, and I said more forcefully, but politely, “No, thank you, but I choose not to eat more right now. I don't want to.” And I felt good that I had expressed myself.

And she seemed perfectly fine with it (as she went back to her food).

Follow-up thoughts I've had since the dream:

• I realized that I can speak the truth to myself.
  
• Actually, I realized I am speaking the truth to myself--and all of me is listening.
  
• My little girl (although really more of a teenager here) can ask for the truth and handle it just fine from "the adult Donna" without freaking out.
• Adult Donna is greatly relieved at that!

I find I'm now more at peace with myself and my food choices than ever before.